In a relationship, taking initiative is an indication of commitment. Today, we like to share the success story of Yoki, a high-end matchmaking client of 2RedBeans.

He is just…  ‘average looking’

Like any woman, Yoki has high expectations for her future husband. He has to be at least three to five years older than her, at least 5’11 tall, and have a stable career. She listed these requirements during her first interview with our matchmaker Jessica.

Yoki’s expectations are understandable. She herself is 5’6, worked extremely hard to build her career from the ground up, and she bought herself an apartment and car. She’s self-sufficient, to say the least.

In a way, having a list of expectations can make things more efficient. It ensures that the partner you are looking for can pass your ‘minimum requirements’. For singles with a small social circle and hectic lifestyles, this is one method they can use to find a partner.

However, when we use these expectations to sift through who’s good for you and who’s not good for you, it may mean we’re throwing away the chance to know the other person on a deeper level. We might even overlook what’s hidden beneath the facade of ‘qualities’ we’re looking for. What if that person’s personality just doesn’t suit you? This is why our matchmakers interview every possible candidate first before recommending them to our clients. This helps them understand the past experiences of the candidates and to help figure out their compatibility with our clients.

Yoki was initially hesitant when 2RedBeans matchmaker Jessica recommended Hank to her. Hank is seven years older than her and is only about 5’8’’. He is also a freelancer. Even though he comes from a good family background, his finances are not as stable due to the nature of his job. Jessica recommended Hank to Yoki for a few reasons: Hank is easy-going and matches well with Yoki’s impatient nature, Hank is humorous and polite, Hank also intends to settle down as soon as possible. Yoki was still hesitant, but decided to give it a shot.

Yoki felt good after the first date with Hank. Initially, she wasn’t very into it as Hank was very average-looking. However, after chatting for over half an hour, she felt comfortable with him. Hank seemed to keep up with whatever Yoki was talking about.

“He is just… average looking.” Yoki sent this message to Jessica after the date.

Take the initiative to express your love!

From then on, Hank asked Yoki out regularly. He always looked for good places near her workplace even though it takes at least half an hour to get there.

“Sometimes, I had last-minute meetings and he had to wait for me. He never once complained, and was always waiting patiently at his car. He reassured me that he was either catching up on work or doing something productive while waiting for me. He even bought flowers for me on one occasion.”

Hank would also meticulously plan out weekend dates with her.

“We soon realized that both of us do not really like socializing much with others and both of us lack dating experience as well. However, Hank always put his heart into planning activities for both of us. He would always take into account my idiosyncrasies, and gave me the freedom to do what I want by giving me alternative choices.”

“What really moved me was, whenever I sent him a message, he would reply within a minute. Even when he was busy, he would send me a “I’m busy!” text. Being together gave me reassurance that everything would work out.”

Hank was always taking the initiative, which made Yoki gradually fall for him. They officially became a couple after 2 weeks.

In a relationship, taking the initiative shows your interest, and to a certain extent, also indicates your reliance on the other party. This reliance is often perceived as a form of weakness to us. On the contrary, this is quite the opposite. To the take the initiative to love someone shows your strength and will in the relationship, and can give the other party a form of stability and reassurance. In a healthy relationship, what you give will be what you get. Taking the initiative also allows you to quickly see how the other party feels about you. If the other party is interested, they will reciprocate accordingly.

If you think that the moment is ripe, you should give it your all

Gradually, Hank and Yoki got closer and started planning their future together. Both of them have the same goal of leading a simple and fulfilling life.

A month after getting to know each other, Hank popped the question: “Do you want to get engaged?” Hank was a bit old fashioned; he stuffed the engagement ring in the cake they ordered at the cafe that afternoon. Yoki sent Jessica a photo of her ring that night.

Not long after, Yoki also sent Jessica a photo of her trying on her wedding dress.

As we retell this success story, we realize that Hank was the driver of the relationship, pushing it to higher levels. From being together as a couple to an engagement and a wedding ceremony, Hank provided the reassurance that Yoki needed. Yoki, in the end, also went against her list of expectations for her ‘ideal partner’. Matchmaker Jessica also helped push the relationship in the direction they wanted.

In a relationship, as long as both parties are willing to take the initiative and not perceive that as a form of weakness, every action can help steer it forward.

If you have any relationship questions, contact us here for a free consultation.